just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
