So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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