Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
