used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
There was a lot of him and a little penis
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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