Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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