Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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