How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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