I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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