I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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