He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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