i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
