I wanna bring you to show and tell
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
