somebody snuck up and got me drunk
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
