He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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