Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
