I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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