For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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