Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
