I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
