I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
