do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
