I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
