I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
