Yo dont text me then not text me
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
