I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
