just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
