Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
