In the future we'll all be gay
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Someone stole a lamp last night.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
