I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
