At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
