I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
well most of my day revolves around power hour
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
