He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
