He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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