she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
