"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
