her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He kissed a someone with a penis
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
