thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
