You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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