Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
