I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
