I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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