It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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