tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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