ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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