just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Houston, we have a squirter
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
