What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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