I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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