the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
we made out on top of his cat.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
