id be glad to
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
