just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
