I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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