I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
